


Stop

by nowaynotme



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Past Child Abuse, implied prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-28
Updated: 2013-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-21 14:38:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/901446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowaynotme/pseuds/nowaynotme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What could Dean say?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop

What could Dean say?

He was nine when Dad first hit him. Fist and rings collided with a face still trying desperately to shed it's baby fat. Trying so hard to look like the man who stood before him with rage seeping out of every pore. That, and the lingering scent of alcohol.

But Dean had been the one who forgot to load the shotgun and almost got Sammy killed. He was the one who put the family in danger. He was the one who reminded John of Mary.

Four years later Dean was trying his best to get Sammy through school. Bullies were a constant threat for the kid, and he hated Dean for putting a boy in the hospital. It meant they had to leave again.

He was tossed out on his ass when Dad saw the pink lace of his girlfriend's panties peeking out of his jeans. Careless. Stupid. He could still feel the ache in his gut from strong knees and blood drizzled down his chin. His dad wouldn't have his boys acting like faggots.

But sometimes Dad had to leave in a hurry and was gone longer than expected and food ran out and Sammy was hungry. You do what you can for your little brother. Besides, a guy in a suit will always have money to throw at you after you're done throwing yourself at them. It wasn't gay, it was just a business transaction.

"You know what Dean, just leave me alone and go back to being Dad's precious little soldier. Hey, maybe you can pick him up some more booze."

"Sammy, common. You don't have to come home for good. I'm just saying that a short visit over one of your school breaks would clear up some tension."

"It's Sam."

"Fine, but just th-"

"Think about it?! Why don't you ever get out, huh? You think I missed all the bruises you tried to hide over the years? Or do you enjoy it?"

"Sam. You know that Dad just gets a little angry when he drinks too much. Besides, it's only when I messed up on hunts."

"Stop making excuses for him! What about all the nights you snuck in late, coming home smelling like someone else and all that money we both know you didn't get from Dad."

Dean hung up.

Dean wasn't the smart guy. He wasn't the good guy. He didn't get the girl or live happily ever after. He would wind up like every other hunter. He would go down swinging. There was no room for planning or futures or white picket fences. That all went to Sammy, Dean made sure of that.

Until a fucking goddam angel of the lord had to go and tell Dean that he loved him.

"You motherfucker."

What could Dean say.

"Dean?"

"Why?!"

"Why do I love you?"

"Why did you have to love me? I was fine, I was great. I was a hero and I looked out for Sammy and it was all about the next hunt. And then you just had to come and fuck everything up. Next thing I know you're all I can think about. You got inside my head, man. I'm just a guy. And you're an angel!"

"Dean, I don't understand."

"Hunters don't get to fall in love, Cas. It only ever ends bloody. But here you are with your three little words and--"

"Dean. What is this really about?"

"You saw, right? When you pulled me out of hell you got a good long look at my soul?"

"Yes."

"So you know why I--you know."

"You did what you had to do for your brother, I do not judge you for that."

Dean starts crying before he can stop it.

"But you know. You know why I can't."

"Dean, you are not broken.

"Stop, Cas."

"You are not less. You can stop."

"I said shut up."

"Sam is fine."

"Shut it!"

"You no longer have to take care of him."

"Stop!"

"John is gone."

"STOP IT!" At this, Dean puts his head in his hands and collapses onto his knees.

Cas goes to him, wings curved in protection over his human.

"Dean," he whispers, "you can stop now."


End file.
